Wednesday, 30 December 2015

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Babe, Slay

I made a goal halfway through this year to post at least once per month - but it seems that November has gotten away from me, and today, I realised that I shouldn't let December get away from me too.

What photography means to me has swayed a lot this year, and certainly since I first started. I've been doing a lot of event photography still, but it's portraiture that still really excites me. The challenge, now that I've given it some thought - is to continue blogging about it, and thinking about the photography that I produce and enjoy. I admit that I'm doing a lot less photography than I was doing at the beginning of the year. But I feel that it's not necessarily a bad thing. Hobbies and passions, like careers goals and academic drive, fluctuate. Perhaps in the beginning of the year, when I was searching for opportunities, and looking for any chance to get ahead, photography was a skill that I worked hard to develop and display. Now, at the end of 2015, where I have a really great internship opportunity lined up, feel more certain about where I want to go in terms of university extracurriculars, and where I feel more at home at my university and my degree - photography is no longer something I feel an aggressive need to pursue and use in order to get me to places.

Of course, I would like to be at MBFWA 2016 - but we'll see how it goes.

But that's something for next year. Today, when I met up with Alice at Circular Quay, and I saw all the barriers and amenities prepped for New Year's Eve - it just suddenly hit me that the new year was suddenly upon us. Everybody says this every year - where did the year go? The year has gone by so fast! But it's just so true. I attribute this phenomenon to being busy. The more you have to do, the less time you feel you have, and then the year just rushes by. I would like to control time more in this way, next year. Controlling time - as in - being busy when I can be, but also slowing down and relaxing when I need to. One of the biggest lessons I've learnt this year is how to manage my time. You're only productive when you're ready to be, and when you're worn down and exhausted, that potential for productivity isn't there. Motivation comes from inside. Any 'motivation' from anywhere else is just pressure.

I like that every year, we pretend that it's a fresh start. I also like that every year, these last few nights of December, we all look back and think about everything that's happened this past year. Right now, I know that I have a lot to be grateful for, especially my relationships. For one, this megababe Alice has been an absolute blessing. I've really appreciated how we see eye to eye in a lot of ways, and yet we're also quite different in a whole set of other ways. Alice challenges me and inspires me, and it's not very often you come across somebody like that.

The same goes for a whole host of my nearest and dearest (who I am eager to see on my birthday). My dearest girlfriends have held tight this whole year, and I had so much fun when we went to Nelson's Bay together earlier this month. I admit, it's been tough trying to find time for all of us to meet up every month or so this year. Schedules clash, everybody is busy with something or other. But I'm so grateful that we still met up, and we still talked constantly throughout the year. I'm also grateful that one of these girls is personally responsible for getting me drunk for the first time ever.

Khonasti gets his own paragraph for sticking by me in spite of everything. According to standard formulas, we shouldn't really be close anymore. We go to different universities, study different degrees, have vastly different lifestyles, run majorly different social circles, and I happen to have an inability to sympathise with his consumerist impulses (especially with Adidas shoes) - but as it happens, friends who go through shit together, stay together.

My other sentimental shout-out goes to Leo, because anybody who has his patience and commitment to accompany me through another year deserves immense praise. I know we've had our rough patches, and we've only got more to come, what with these big changes happening with our lives. But I feel very certain, once again, that we can make it through the incoming 2016 together. Love is a choice, and I think at the end of the day, we've always, and will always, stick by that choice.

I think that's all for tonight. I hope everybody has a rad New Year's Eve to their own preference.
Happy New Year all! x
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